Vent Two : They All Hate Me

Since the leave, everyone around me can't stand me. I can tell. He was the only one I could talk to at any time and not annoy him. I could say anything and he didn't care what, he'd accept it. We broke because he just didn't care anymore, but now I realize just how much I used him daily to keep myself sane. 

Now I'm all alone. Maddie won't keep a conversation and is hard to talk to. She's broken down the same way, and is so different than she used to be. She could make a conversation in two seconds that kept you interested for as long as she spoke, now its just a joke and its over. It makes it hard to go through the day because I can't even talk to her, my best friend, anymore. I try to make conversation but all I can talk about are animals because that is all I know! I've grown up outside unlike all my friends and don't understand any of the technology they talk about or all the tech jokes they talk about. I'm so behind... TV barely interests me so I can't keep up all the time with tv show convos... They're the only people who don't leave me because I'm different and yet I feel so lost with them. I don't know them... 

The one I like now barely knows me either. I barely know him. He acts like he likes me, but I know it won't happen. Ryan was all I could and probably ever will get. I can't accept him back into my life ever again, not after how he hurt me, but I don't think anyone will help me as much. His hurt was more than his help, far more, far more pain went into the relationship than help, but that help honestly was all that kept me happy. 

I'm all alone in this world... Even those who are able to talk about anything anytime just get quiet with me... Even my own neighbor, my mentor and my helper, is sick of me. He gets quiet when I get around, he's sick of the little girl who bothers him every chance he gets... me... All I want is someone who I can talk to again... Be with again... Who I can cry and scream around and not feel embarrassed or ashamed. 

I can only admit it, I don't have anymore friends. My mom is the only one who tries anymore, and I don't want to burden her... Everyone is sick on me and I'm sick of the hurt... I'm just going to make it through this school year and cut off from everyone this summer and work on some animals. At least they don't stop listening... I just wish someone would help... I just wish I could find a true friend again...